"Next year all our troubles will be miles away..."

...or at least I hope.  I have listened to this song a million times this year.  It seems so fitting for the year I've had.  It's hard to be facing your hardest challenges during the holidays.  Holidays are supposed to be all about joy and praising God for your blessings, but in reality they are sometimes painful.  Some years you have to remind yourself to breathe, that next year it may be better.  You give up on some of the dreams you had for the year and realize that life is never what we plan it to be.  This Christmas I am focusing of Jesus.  I am thinking about the fact that God understands pain, that he gave his son to be killed.  He is no stranger to pain and He hurts along with me.  I know that God does not like for me to hurt, so I know that this time is only a season of my life.  Someday I will look at my Christmas tree without aching for all that has been lost.  Someday, I will know what it is to be cherished and loved the way God intended.  God is changing me.  He's using every heartbreak to form me into the woman He intends me to be.  Someday I will be stronger because of all I have been through.  I will look back on this Christmas and know that God did send my troubles away.

In an effort to still make Graesen's Christmas magical in spite of all that is going on, I am still forging ahead with all the traditions I want to start for him.  Yesterday we tried making a gingerbread house.  Graesen liked the candy way too much for any of it to actually stay on the house.  I quickly gave up trying and just let him enjoy the gingerbread house in his own way.

Last night I volunteered for a North Pole event for homeless kids.  It was my fourth year volunteering as an elf.  It is really an amazing organization and gives kids some joy during a really hard time in their lives.  There was a 10-year-old girl who was just ecstatic about the pair of new pajamas she got.  She said she had never had a pair of new pajamas.  She was just so grateful.

Today I went to a friend's baby shower.  Her husband is a farmer, so one of her friends made her a tractor out of baby wipers and diapers.

I am so excited for Dusty and Erin.  They are great people and will make incredible parents.

While I was there Graesen went to Evan's family's Christmas party.  They do a gift exchange and for the kids you bring a present for your own child to open.  Graesen loves the Melissa and Doug train we got for him. 

Tonight Graesen and I went to my grandparents' house for dinner and so that my grandpa could look at my car (the check engine light came on today, because apparently when it rains it pours).  Graesen snacked on a lot of treats before dinner.  Spoiled boy :)