Growing pains

Having to give up time with Graesen so that he can be with his dad is hard.  I want what's best for Graesen, but really none of this is best for him.  He sees his dad less than when we were together, so that is hard for him.  He also sees me less since I have to work as much as I can and have to send him off to spend time with his dad.  I had a very hard time today discussing with Evan future overnights for Graesen.  You see, Graesen has only been away from me one night ever.  Even if we were not in the midst of a divorce it would still be very hard for me to have Graesen gone for a night.  Add the fact that poor Graesen' s life has been turned upside down and the thought of him leaving for a night just about kills me.  Graesen has been extra needy lately and has been waking up more at night.  I worry about what he will feel if he wakes up at night and I am not there.  I want to be able to be there if he feels worried, sad, angry, or scared.  It is just so hard.  Graesen also had a hard time with the transfer today.  He doesn't understand why his daddy can't come inside and play with him and mommy.  He is frustrated and sad, and has every right to feel that way.  Graesen was fine the second Evan left and was very happy to spend some time playing with me, but I still felt this incredible amount of guilt and sadness that my sweet little boy has to go through this.

My sweet boy was a bit cranky at times today.  After telling me he didn't want to go to church, he was happy once we got there.  Then he asked to go to the nursery, but didn't want to go in.  He finally went in and had a great time.  He made a necklace representing the story of Jesus feeding the multitudes with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread.  He was so proud of his necklace :)

(I know these pictures are dark...Graesen would only pose for me right there where the lighting was not good at all)

Guess what sweet boy is growing up?!  He used the potty last night at my aunt's house during movie night and twice tonight while we were at my parents' house.  I am so proud of him!  He got to walk around in his training pants for a while since he used the potty (and he got some M&Ms) and I could tell that he felt so big :)  I am going to encourage him to keep trying, but I am not going to force anything right now.  Since he is going through so many changes in his life right now I want to make sure to give him the time to feel comfortable with using the potty.  Kids going through divorce are likely to have a lot of ups and down in their potty training, or to start holding it a lot because they feel like that is the only thing they can control.  For that reason I will allow Graesen to show me when he is really ready.

Graesen wanted to help my dad vacuum the stairs tonight.  Such a sweet little helper :)

Phoebe has a cow and a pink cat costume that she is totally obsessed with.  Graesen wanted to try them on tonight.  He makes a pretty cute pink cat :)