Inhale, exhale, choose joy

We grow up dreaming.  We dream of who we want to be, want we want to do, and imagine that nothing will stand in our way.  We stumble along the way.  Our hearts break and we question God.  He reminds us that the plan He has for us is greater than anything we could possibly imagine.  So we take a deep breath, let it out, and choose to find joy in the journey.  It is in the darkest moments when we are able to be transfixed by the Light.  The glimmer of hope, the warmth of His hand, the flame that starts to illuminate our world. 

I am truly learning what it means to have the kind of joy that only God can give.  I am learning that I can laugh with my son when everything else around me has crumbled.  I am learning to be grateful for the blessings I have even in a season during which my God who gives and takes away has done a whole lot of taking away.  I am learning to trust that He is in control, that He won't let me fall,and  that He will give me what I need to make it through.

I am even learning that I can celebrate a holiday that revolves around love while I am going through a divorce.  I can celebrate the love I have for my son, for my family, and for my God.  I still believe in love even though I will be celebrating as a single woman for the first time since I was a junior high student.  I am learning that I am okay, and I am enough without a man around to tell me I am.  I am broken, but complete. 

 (Graesen's Valentine's art from last year)