Newly single mom

For those of you who just want to look at the cute, daily pictures of Graesen just scroll down :)  I saw that Kelly's Korner was doing a link up for single moms and I decided to join.

For those of you who don't know, I am a newly single mom to a 2 1/2 year old boy named Graesen.  About 2 weeks before Christmas my husband (Evan) and I separated.  The details of why are getting a divorce is not something I will write on here, because when Graesen gets older I want him to find out from us, not the internet. 

I never thought I would be a single mom.  Who really gets married thinking they will get divorced?  This year has been full of heart break.  Not only did my marriage end, but I also had a miscarriage last spring and some health issues.  It has been brutal, to say the least, but I know I have grown so much.  When it looked like my marriage might crumble I decided that marriage counseling might help.  While it did not save my marriage, it was one of the best things I could have done.  I continued to go by myself after Evan and I separated and felt so much relief after my sessions.  I spent a lot of time working through my thoughts and feelings, trying to figure out the "whys" of what happened.  I gained confidence and learned to look for the positives in life. 

I made the decision that no matter what happened with my marriage I would do everything I could to give Graesen the life he deserved.  I have committed myself to fully healing from my divorce for Graesen's sake.  In fact, in a couple of weeks I will be starting a Divorce Care class so that I can work through all of this in the company of other Christians. 

In all of this I have been amazed at how God has been working in my heart.  With every heart ache this year, He has pulled me closer to Him.  Not only, that but he has been so faithful!  I have been a substitute teacher for three years, only working a couple of days per week.  I was so scared to start working full time, since I have never had to leave Graesen that much.  Not to mention, that teaching jobs where we live are not easy to find.  I kept praying that God would lead me to a career that would provide for our needs, allow me to be the best possible mom for Graesen, and help me to develop friendships with other Christians.  A few weeks ago I was contacted by the daycare/preschool director at my church.  She offered me a full time position as a preschool teacher with benefits!  The best part was that it would be in the 2-3 year old classroom, so Graesen could come with me and be a student.  God has been so good to me!

Life is so different than I ever expected it to be, but I am growing.  I am so confident that God has a plan for my son and me.  With each day we are getting more and more into our groove.  The pain is lessening and I am getting stronger.  Graesen and I will make it!

 Picture by Vanessa Kay Photography